Keeping Love Alive

Spending quality time, including having date nights helps keep love going.

Spending quality time, including having date nights helps keep love going.

Couples are often surprised that after a few months or years into marriage, keeping love alive takes much more work than it did before. In fact, research has shown that the first six to 18 months our brains give off dopamine and serotonin that keep the passion going in marriage. Over time, those chemical levels decrease and it takes a little more of a conscious effort to keep things going. Luckily, we know that making these conscious efforts work since many couples report being just as happy, if not happier than they were when they first were married. So what are their secrets? We wanted to find out and we now present tips on how to keep love alive in marriage.

Tips on Keeping Love Alive in Marriage

When love starts to die, there are usually one of two reasons for it. First, family life can get really busy and it is simply difficult to make sufficient time for each other. Second, difficult trials, including not seeing eye to eye on things begins to strain the relationships. Lets talk about the first.

Making Time to Keep Your Relationship Alive

While having children can bring couples together and make love even stronger, making time away from children is also incredibly important. There are many ways to balance being a caring parent and being a caring spouse.

    • Keep early bedtimes for kids. By having kids bathed before dinner, eating dinner as a family, and then tucking them in by seven, couples can have the entire evening just to themselves. Of course time should be adjusted depending on the age of the child, but making sure that you have some time to yourself is more likely to lead to your sanity being recharged and ready to support your family.
    • Take a nap during the day. When you have rested well, you are more likely to have the energy to devote yourself to marriage later in the day.
    • Protect the time right after dinner for just you and your spouse. Some families find that there is a 15-minute lull after dinner before activities begin. This is the perfect time for you and your spouse to cuddle and talk about your day while kids play near by. Connecting with your spouse makes the home more family-centered than child-centered, which in the long run benefits the child.
    • Cut out some extracurricular activities. Ask yourself before you sign your child up for a class if the child will prefer to have awesome skills or parents with a strong marriage. This will help prevent feeling stressed out and in a loving mood.
    Having quality time helps couples keep sight on their relationship.

    Having quality time helps couples keep sight on their relationship.

    Keeping Love Alive as You Endure Hardships

    Sometimes marriage and family life throws curve balls that you would just rather avoid. When this happens, marriages have the potential to become even stronger or just slowly break down.Here are some ideas on keeping it strong.

    • Forgive each other. There can always be a reason to be annoyed or mad at the other person, even for just the smallest of things. But that can be poison to your heart. Look for ways to serve the person when you are ready to forgive and this will likely make it easier.
    • Invest time making a vision that inspires both of you. Discuss how you see family life looking and help each other maintain that vision or adjust it when things get tough.
    • Realize that issues that don’t get talked out get acted out, whether through the silent treatment, rude remarks, emotional outbursts, etc. Listening to what your spouse is saying and being willing to share without making the other person feel wrong allows each person a safe place to express themselves.
    • Trust really is a foundation of good marriage. Keeping secrets from as a spouse indicate you do not trust them in that way and they in turn will learn to not trust you. Trust allows for deep connection.
    • You will always have baggage when you start off in marriage, but trying your best to work on your personal things will allow you to be your best self. Spouses should support each other in dealing with these things and give space so that the other can figure out how they can help each other through it.
    • Avoid comparisons. Wishing your spouse did something that your friend’s spouse did for them can be toxic. It creates a habit of comparing something your spouse struggles with with something another excels in. Instead, realize that your spouse does certain things really well and focus on those things as being a basis for genuinely complimenting them.
    • See your spouse as a whole person. Often we look at a little thing that bothers us and really focus on that. While we easily forgive ourselves when we mess up and brush over our flaws, doing the same for your spouse will help avoid hurt feelings. Choose a few qualities you love about your spouse and next time you start to feel irritated, think of those few things instead.

    A Final Thought

    Most good marriages start with people who choose to make considerate decisions. Choosing to be a positive person makes home life a lot easier. Choosing to bite your tongue and not speak in anger allow couples to evaluate their emotions and find the right words before they say something they can never take back. As couples mutually give and take and communicate, they will be a lot more likely to find happiness through marriage.

    Communicating so that each person has a safe place is more likely to lead to a happier marriage

    For More Ideas on Ways to Keep Love Alive:

    Quotes on Keeping Love Alive
    Keeping Love Alive Long Distance